People told me I should start putting this shit down on paper… so I did.
My grandmother, God rest her, always used to say “believe half of what you see and none of what you hear”. It is an expression I have used, myself, more times than I can remember over the past fifty or so years since I first heard it. The older I get, the more I have come to appreciate its deeper meaning. Wisdom, after all, comes not from intelligence but through surviving the trials and tribulations of the Human Experience… something that only comes with time.
She also taught me to look for the good in people… to look beyond the faults and imperfections… always insisting that we were all God’s children and that only He was perfect. I so desperately wanted to believe that growing up that I allowed myself to be “taken” on more occasions then I will ever admit to now.
In many ways I’m actually happy that she has since passed on because I would not want her to see what has become of God’s imperfect children in whom she placed so much misguided faith.
Life has gone on in her absence and – like everyone else – I have built up my own inventory of imperfections. After a lifetime of sometimes -questionable choices, I developed a medical condition that led to a series of Strokes causing me permanent vision loss in the right half of each eye. They also tell me that I have some mild to moderate cognitive issues which seems right but leaves me thinking that I actually improved in some of my cognitive areas in exchange for the ones I had to give up. Foremost among these? A much better ability to see people for who they really are… and not for who my grandmother taught me to wish I saw.
The condition I have is called “Right-Side Homonymous hemianopsia” and it has completely changed everything about the way I see, in the physical sense, my entire world. I have no peripheral vision, no depth perception, can’t work or drive and, of what I CAN see, everything appears to me as if I were looking through a peephole in an apartment or hotel room door. And at that, there is a huge hole right in the middle and to the far right of my remaining visual field.
I am only able to use a computer by virtue of several software gadgets that allow me to dictate into a microphone and play back into my headphones… A painfully slow process but when I’m happy to put up with given the alternatives.
The only reason I’m even making this information public is just so readers understand that, despite my challenges, I refuse to be helpless and I refuse to rely on anyone for anything that I can figure out a workaround on my own. The way I see it… Until I’m fully blind or dead… There’s no earthly reason why I should sit around waiting for a change that is never going to come and forfeit whatever time I have left without having shared my experiences with anyone interested in following along.
Before I was (figuratively) struck by lightning 3 times, I was a successful professional educator, blogger, freelance writer, political ghostwriter, and all around bitterly cynical asshole that had lost faith in the bulk of the human race. With these new gifts I have been given – partial blindness and dramatically increased challenges to understanding what’s going on around me – I find myself in the unique position of being able to “see” and share what everybody else is too busy and moving too fast to recognize and comprehend.
Say whatever else about me you will, but the pace of my life has slowed way down and has forced me to stop and smell the roses.
This website intends to focus on the condition from which all of my fellow humanoids on this spinning little microscopic blue ball in the cosmos suffer: only seeing that which we choose to see. My job is to see it and bring it to your attention. Do with it whatever you will from there.
On these pages, you will find a mixture of content that spans a wide range of topics. Some of it is 100% my commentary alone, and some of it begins with a few lines of my thoughts before sending you on your way to the source so you can decide for yourself what to make of it.
Oh yeah… there will be profanity from time to time so don’t get your undies in a bundle – do you listen closely to the shit your kids say when they think you aren’t listening?
Anyway… it is my fervent desire that you be given an opportunity to use all of your senses and step a little outside of your personal boxes to consider whether the world is as you have convinced yourself that it is, or if maybe… just maybe… what you can’t actually see with your own eyes holds the better part of what life has to offer.
It is certainly what has happened to me now in my own life.
Apologies in advance for typos and grammatical errors.. I’m half-blind after all… cut me some slack.